The ending of a relationship is always a difficult time. It is an emotional journey with an uncertain and seemingly frightening future. Regardless of who ended the relationship, life goes on, and thousands of people move on to having happy and fulfilling lives. To fully move on, you need to focus on yourself while balancing the things you need to focus more and less on. This list can hopefully help you at this emotional time.
Let yourself mourn
People get married with the promise of holding each other until death leads them apart. Even if the divorce turns out to be the best way forward, divorce still represents loss and with this, comes grief. Losing something you intended to keep harbors remorse and feelings of inadequacy, which can affect your self-esteem. A healthy balance of reflecting alone and talking to others will help you see the light at the end of the seeming never-ending tunnel. Feeling despair is reasonable; however, if the situation gets out of hand, talking to a therapist can be enlightening.
Learn to like yourself
Being in a relationship facilitates growth. The more you compromise for your partner, the more that the relationship changes you somehow. You become part of each other’s lives so much that you learn to think and act in similar ways. Following the divorce, you will frequently be reminded of the person you have become after the relationship. It is normal to still think about your partner and to miss them too. To get through this numbing and longing phase, rediscovering the new you is vital. Learning to like yourself can help nurture your self-esteem, which took a hit during the divorce. Liking yourself occurs in progression, similarly to how healing occurs. Give yourself time. You will get there. Focus on constructive thoughts in the process.
Learn to let go
Often, what keeps you from healing is holding on to memories and emotions. Holding on to “what could’ve been,” and the bitterness is natural. Focusing on these for too long is counterproductive. To move on, it may help to distance your attention from the person you’re trying to forget. If your current home reminds you of tear-inducing memories, consider a change of environment. In general, if your material possessions are causing you stress, consider getting rid of them. Click here to sell your home fast for cash so you can start anew.
Live in the present
Memories of the past and your visions of the future together will frequent your thoughts. Do not block them. Acknowledge them until you get comfortable with the ideas. Eventually, you will learn to see the little things that make the present such a gift. The pain will submerge as you focus on experiences that make the present worthwhile.
After a divorce, no one knows for sure what to do and which options are right. Just be yourself, your heart will know how to cope. It will always tell you what is and isn’t right. If the pain is dimming your heart and your mind’s voice, sit with the pain. Stay patient because things will get better for sure.
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